not a poem.. just thoughts

so yeah... i guess ill just write some stuff down. see what comes out.

I need to take things more seriously.

I need to figure out what I want to do with my life.

I just held Mr Clarks hands... good to know I STILL GOT IT!!!

I can't tell if I'm really exited for my boyfriend i've lived with for over 2 years is moving to scottland or if im really depressed..

the emotions are quite different.

but still I cant tell.

I would love to live in paris for a semester, but i don't think it'll work out.

Im glad that girl made friends.

I'm really selfish

and messy

and dont take showers often.

i like waiting tables.

in 6 months I'll be 21.

and a senior.

So yeah... i need an interneship.

I hate PR

I HATE PR!

II HHAATTEE PPRR.

oh well..

i will graduate with a degree in it

and a double major in creative writing and theatre performance

i wish i could dance again.

like i dance, but not professionally.

and i wish i could.

but thus i cannot.

so blah blah blah blah.

im going tanning now and i feel like a hypocrite

because im usually a promoter of au natural.

but i seem to be a little happier when i lay in a vanity coffin

with pink tiny goggles

and a heart sticker on my lower stomach... LAME!!!

BUT HERE I AM.

and here i sit,

smelling like coconuts

and feeling like a balloon.

becasue my head always hurts..

filled with air and gas.

I think about

people I shouldn't.

I love sunflowers!

and chocolate milk.

but i wish i was a vegetarian.

but i just love burgers, and hate veggies and fruits...

i like beans and nuts, thank goodness........

i hope i end up cleanring how to clean.

like im sure its not hard i just never do it.

my room is a laundry hamper with a bed ive never slept in.

and chocolate somewhere im sure

i love my dad. he's a bit older, and just so nice.

reminds me of dr clark.

doesnt read or write as much

and probably eats a lot more.

but he loves me, and cares about me.

so speaking of scottland. i think i am sad.

but it will be an adventure for the both of us,

more for him, for sure.

but it will probably be the most single-ish ill ever or have ever been.

i'm always in a relaitonship, have been since i was 12.

they usually always overlap.

which is sad.

i am a libra.

such A LIBRA.

everything must be even.

tit for tat.

eye for an eye

they say it makes the whole world blind.

i am already legally blind in one eye.

the left one.

my depth perception is bad.

my temper is short.

i really do need to live somewhere a bit cooler.

not temp wise necessarily.... but like the attitude.

the mood.

the people.

i wanna live somewhere in a different country. maybe.

and i hate when people call "weed" "DOPE"

i mean its dope in the fresh prince of belaire l sense.

but not the other like meth sense.

i should enroll in my classes next semester...

someone said i may be a hipster!!

i sure hope not!!!

luke took up for me, and he knows me... and he said it wasnt!!

i shall stop now.

this is so hipster of me.